Stick'n it to the Man

Every once in a while I get a wild hair up my.. And all I want to do is stick to the man. Now the “Man” could be varied according to situations. This “Man” happens to be a woman in her mid 60's. She the unsaid woman because I really don't know her name not because I don’t want to offend or embarrass her. She this woman sleeps on the couch on the floor that I work on. This couch is located in a sitting room that you must walk through to get to the bathroom with five stalls and 2.5 toilets that don’t fire while at random when on them. Back to the “MAN” though she enters at approx. 12:50 p.m. with some concoction heated to her liking, she then yarfs it down and sleeps on the couch. This combination of Musk most likely from the Dollar General, food from probably beet heaven, and the smell of the bathroom is intoxicating. Intoxicating in a worse than Brittany Spear kind of way. She then proceeds to sleep for 30-40 mins and then returns to her floor. This has caused a great distaste for this “Man” on the floor everyone complains and well I am not sure if they return from the bathroom with their lunches still intact. (I sometimes don’t)

This leads me to “THE PLAN” I came up with a plan to deter this “Man” from sleeping in our sitting room. The plan was to move the couch every day for an entire month as a deterrent for this woman to not sleep and stink up the floor. I proceeded to move the couch and ottoman every day 5 days a week to a new and different position. Yet everyday she would have to reposition the couch for sleeping and eating purposes. For over a month this couch mysteriously moved and was then moved back to the original position. I gave up after 5.5 weeks of moving this couch. I then learned sticking it to a 65 year old woman of a “MAN” is much harder than it looks.