F&F

Faith vs. Fear is sometimes all I feel we hear. Believe in what you will but fear for me is more than being hurt. Life is full of pains weaknesses and injury but it isn’t the physical that I fear. Looking deeper into the soul is where true pain is felt and that is where my fear resides. It took a residence there many years ago nearly 23.95 my soul was awakened 24.6 years ago but I felt the love of a heart beat before that day. Love is faith, faith in something more something greater that can move us to grow and become something more.  My fear has controlled parts of my life and kicked faith aside. Survival mode is what I call it you get up each day because that is what you must do to stay alive; you do what you need to, to keep the waters at bay till the end of the day. I then lay down and the floods engulf the walls and I begin to drown again. I fight the flood with all I have and look for the light and do all that I can to reach it once again. I sometimes find a buoy of hope that I grasp onto those days I feel strong. Then there are days where there seems to be no light no matter how hard I work and I am lost again at sea swirling in a hurricane of emotion. I then drift way to find a new day where I wake once again upon the possible tides of change. I have begun to look for my current across the great expanse of sea imploring to find it before the hurricane finds me aimlessly out at sea.  Faith.